I’m not sure how I’ve neglected to mention here that I’m getting married soon, to a woman with whom I still fall in love daily. I could say many more sappy things. But yes…that’s happening. For real this time. And I recently started a legit full-time job with benefits for both myself and my fiancée. So many worries and anxieties of the past three years are gone. I’m in the best place I’ve been in a long time. I still live in Athens, and I’m still in love with it, even if it means hour commutes to work. I don’t fall in love with locales easily, at least not in this country.
Seeing the Perks of a Wallflower movie tonight reminded me of myself in high school and college–my early 20s. I’ve spent so much mental energy post-graduation trying to get those infinite feelings back. Many of those stories are past, logged in my silly ’04-’05 Xanga posts, many drenched in Dashboard Confessional lyrics. Evenings and late nights will emerge that make me feel that way, a way that makes the most sober and rational person cringe. Maybe I’ll channel more exciting spirits through melody and/or words. It gets harder to find your younger spirit, but you can’t keep looking in the same places. The ultimate goal is to feel alive and unpredictable while keeping our adult investments and goals safe. Some would say to throw out the latter, or “#YOLO,” in simpler terms, but if YouTube is any indication, that mantra leads to little more than stupidity.
As I approach 30, I expect to become much better at maintaining this balance.
I have a lot to be thankful for this year…more than I have at any other time in my adult life. Next year and beyond is where I start to figure out what it all means. Happy Thanksgiving and a Merry Christmas, everyone.